she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize