My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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