I want to make a zoo with you.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
now i know why i became what i already was.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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