i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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