you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
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