Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed. http://tfl.nu/4nvh
  Replies (12) Good night (577) Bad night (4409)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers." http://tfl.nu/vnij
  Replies (40) Good night (5431) Bad night (808)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there. http://tfl.nu/ndt3
  Replies (24) Good night (4898) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized. http://tfl.nu/3fi2
  Replies (7) Good night (1462) Bad night (2602)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck. http://tfl.nu/4gbf
  Replies (17) Good night (1099) Bad night (3389)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news. http://tfl.nu/pxui
  Replies (10) Good night (1946) Bad night (1155)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you http://tfl.nu/wyc5
  Replies (8) Good night (3805) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I'll always be here to give you immoral support.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): I'll always be here to give you immoral support. http://tfl.nu/ss89
  Replies (6) Good night (2786) Bad night (750)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies. http://tfl.nu/g6fw
  Replies (3) Good night (877) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it http://tfl.nu/32uz
  Replies (4) Good night (1105) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship. http://tfl.nu/zlr0
  Replies (7) Good night (889) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location. http://tfl.nu/ak9e
  Replies (8) Good night (1209) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon http://tfl.nu/se3x
  Replies (9) Good night (2068) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend. http://tfl.nu/4bsk
  Replies (5) Good night (354) Bad night (721)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes. http://tfl.nu/3uah
  Replies (0) Good night (417) Bad night (133)

Randomize