Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money

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  (212): yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money http://tfl.nu/z7es
  Replies (16) Good night (2279) Bad night (757)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.

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  (817): Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks. http://tfl.nu/ubnm
  Replies (17) Good night (514) Bad night (2623)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers

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  (231): we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers http://tfl.nu/anad
  Replies (33) Good night (8342) Bad night (597)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.

  (817): View more from Texas

  I guess it was more of a nightmare.

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  (817): I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to. (817): I guess it was more of a nightmare. http://tfl.nu/fsml
  Replies (60) Good night (1040) Bad night (4044)
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  (646): View more from New York

  You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....

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  (646): You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing.... http://tfl.nu/xrxl
  Replies (3) Good night (4294) Bad night (659)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.

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  (513): I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties. http://tfl.nu/yluk
  Replies (7) Good night (3913) Bad night (629)
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  (626): View more from California

  They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes

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  (626): They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes http://tfl.nu/n6ba
  Replies (9) Good night (4176) Bad night (994)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.

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  (256): smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick. http://tfl.nu/bhlk
  Replies (37) Good night (4730) Bad night (1241)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.

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  (918): He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things. http://tfl.nu/ox9y
  Replies (16) Good night (1218) Bad night (2927)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.

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  (972): I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success. http://tfl.nu/i1ko
  Replies (6) Good night (3078) Bad night (1036)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Who is this?

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?

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  (603): Who is this? (1-603): You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo (603): Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this? http://tfl.nu/iabt
  Replies (5) Good night (2581) Bad night (944)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice

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  (954): I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice http://tfl.nu/nj79
  Replies (5) Good night (1468) Bad night (735)
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  (914): View more from New York

  If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.

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  (914): If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick. http://tfl.nu/06qn
  Replies (6) Good night (1403) Bad night (510)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.

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  (570): 2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card. http://tfl.nu/36zr
  Replies (8) Good night (434) Bad night (1193)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.

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  (651): This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline. http://tfl.nu/s47z
  Replies (0) Good night (374) Bad night (635)

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