Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(719): View more from Colorado

I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...

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(860): View more from Connecticut

i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?

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(808): View more from Hawaii

you were grabbing cocks left and right

(808): View more from Hawaii

you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(402): View more from Nebraska

I wish i was in the wii world.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish

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(631): View more from New York

I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast

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