great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
A+ Viking dick
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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