Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
