Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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