My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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