Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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