i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
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we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
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He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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