too bad you live with your parents still
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
