yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
