super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
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the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
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I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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