In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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