I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
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