Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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