Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
