Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
