dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...