Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.

  (586): View more from Michigan

  She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.

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  (586): One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you. (586): She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left. http://tfl.nu/4owu
  Replies (6) Good night (740) Bad night (1401)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?

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  (401): This isn't the rejection hotline, is it? http://tfl.nu/jrbs
  Replies (17) Good night (802) Bad night (3587)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.

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  (617): after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case. http://tfl.nu/63mj
  Replies (9) Good night (4635) Bad night (1084)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.

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  (303): At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends. (1-303): At about the same time you guys weren't burritos. http://tfl.nu/mxci
  Replies (27) Good night (8047) Bad night (955)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?

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  (201): If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box? http://tfl.nu/nvmk
  Replies (61) Good night (14735) Bad night (1215)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.

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  (231): Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk. http://tfl.nu/0k6c
  Replies (5) Good night (4686) Bad night (798)
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  (916): View more from California

  Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.

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  (916): Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown. http://tfl.nu/0cdq
  Replies (5) Good night (3498) Bad night (1284)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.

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  (248): If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes. http://tfl.nu/zk30
  Replies (1) Good night (2350) Bad night (1056)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.

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  (713): I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand. http://tfl.nu/1sll
  Replies (8) Good night (3215) Bad night (819)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.

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  (231): Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger. http://tfl.nu/yx75
  Replies (13) Good night (2533) Bad night (1061)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair

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  (517): It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair http://tfl.nu/cxxw
  Replies (4) Good night (445) Bad night (787)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?

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  (787): Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase? http://tfl.nu/2arz
  Replies (1) Good night (601) Bad night (261)
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  (925): View more from California

  ...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.

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  (925): ...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What. http://tfl.nu/pnd5
  Replies (1) Good night (604) Bad night (190)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.

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  (413): So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible. http://tfl.nu/fq23
  Replies (1) Good night (548) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin

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  (319): You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin http://tfl.nu/3xwn
  Replies (5) Good night (203) Bad night (677)

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