Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize