I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.