Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.

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  (805): before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was. http://tfl.nu/5vrd
  Replies (41) Good night (5146) Bad night (1105)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.

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  (662): When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis. http://tfl.nu/y0g4
  Replies (10) Good night (2316) Bad night (828)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing

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  (845): I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing http://tfl.nu/4411
  Replies (24) Good night (5451) Bad night (1340)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.

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  (208): New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry. http://tfl.nu/cesa
  Replies (10) Good night (2740) Bad night (1212)
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  (631): View more from New York

  My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch

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  (631): My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch http://tfl.nu/rckm
  Replies (6) Good night (1484) Bad night (765)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.

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  (504): Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated. http://tfl.nu/1xhy
  Replies (7) Good night (1085) Bad night (2055)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that

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  (425): He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that http://tfl.nu/3z2y
  Replies (14) Good night (817) Bad night (2201)
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  (707): View more from California

  They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.

  (705): View more from Ontario

  I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.

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  (707): They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR. (705): I NEED to see if his girl has a sister. http://tfl.nu/ou19
  Replies (9) Good night (2921) Bad night (895)
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  (212): View more from New York

  Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.

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  (212): Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower. http://tfl.nu/5646
  Replies (6) Good night (834) Bad night (1172)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.

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  (508): I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat. http://tfl.nu/wq7n
  Replies (3) Good night (862) Bad night (1108)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals

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  (570): An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals http://tfl.nu/zqc1
  Replies (1) Good night (545) Bad night (349)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I swear to god those aren't related

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  (724): Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money (412): I swear to god those aren't related http://tfl.nu/w3tr
  Replies (2) Good night (815) Bad night (359)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.

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  (410): If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password. http://tfl.nu/o837
  Replies (0) Good night (438) Bad night (281)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.

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  (908): We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship. http://tfl.nu/ag21
  Replies (3) Good night (529) Bad night (186)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward

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  (541): I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward http://tfl.nu/otn9
  Replies (3) Good night (207) Bad night (637)

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