My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.