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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  Slow dancing with the chandelier.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week

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• (817): View more from Texas

  But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.

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