Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(559): View more from California

the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops

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(519): View more from Ontario

Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(845): View more from New York

he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.

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(618): View more from Illinois

I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.

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(757): View more from Virginia

His mom wants to come see the dorm.

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Hide the whip.

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