she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
