stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
