I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
