These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
