I love black thongs
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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