So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
