dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
The best revenge is premature balding
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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