He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
there was a trapeze. enough said
Slut skills are useful in every country.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
