respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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