When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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