take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
