I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
