he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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