Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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