At least make sure they are 18
Why
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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