I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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