Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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