just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
