is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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