my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
