Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
The Olympian is in my bed
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
