hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
