I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
