sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
