Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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