The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
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Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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