She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
