i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Randomize
