I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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