My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
