It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
