They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
