So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
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and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
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I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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