she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
