why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
