smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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