it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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