Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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