New low: just hacked my moms facebook
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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