I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
