Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
