Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i out mim tonsoeep
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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