Can i not drive my cunt home
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
