my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
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Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
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I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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