Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize